Basketball, Again…

Spring recreational basketball season has ended.   Both their teams didn’t place and get trophies.  It was such a learning experience.  In error, we expected too much from them, their coaches and their teams.  It’s easy to overlook reality when you’re they’ve been on winning teams in general.    They both chose basketball and it was a recreational group.  With a lot of persistence, we should have been fine, right?

Except non- recreational level kids were allowed and half the coaches and parents really emphasized winning and took it very seriously.  So we had to relearn and then  teach our kids that winning wasn’t everything.  We had to face the fact that even in a recreational group and with much effort, our kids were not excelling.  (They came a long way and improved a lot, but they were not excelling.)

But it’s  recreational, right?  So they will continue with it, despite everything.  But we definitely have different expectations.  We should be fine, right?

The purpose of basketball or any other activitiy was for them to find something they were passionate about and could excel in.  Instead we are settling for a few activities they choose that they are willing to put reasonable effort into but do not excel in.  (Currently the other activity is drawing.)

It wasn’t easy for them to find activities to spend their time and efforts on,  but withdrawing video game and tv time helped.

Have you had kids who liked an activity but didn’t  excel in it.  Have you had to deal with kids who are not interested in anything but “passive” activities? What has worked for you?

Monthly Review and Goals

April and May just flew by.  April goals of gratitude and slowing down were mostly met.  And then came May, and allergic reactions, and then more and more allergic reactions.

Basketball is not progressing as well as I had hoped, defeat became too frequent, and we are learning hard but important lessons from it.  Lessons like work hard, even though no one else seems to need to.  We are seeing improvement, but the amount put in is so much. We are  learning most things come with a sacrifice.

Gratitude is now a habit.  When things get tough, I usually remember to be thankful for the things I used to take for granted.  Most of my days are now filled with praise of the good God has given us.  I credit the gratitude habit to slowing down, figuring out what I really enjoy and od course prayer.

The finance research is finally sinking in.  I am reading finance/frugal  blogs daily.

Clothes were mended.  Six dollar tops and a pair of clearance pants were purchased at Target and Walmart for my birthday.  Quick meals along with different meals were made.  Eating out is mostly rare and for emergencies or a rare treat, though we still eat at Sam’s Club 1-2 times a week.  Book, toy and home purchases are rare.

We continue to save for emergencies and retirement housing. Again, slowing down, figuring what is most important to us, gratitude and reading finance blogs, helped me spend wisely.  We were able to enjoy a movie, dinner out a few times and a plane trip to visit family to celebrate a 50th Anniversary.

Homeschooling and education research continues, with high school (and then college) approaching after this coming school year.  The information is slowly sinking in.

June and July goals will be organizing and decluttering the house and paperwork and preparing for the next school year which begins in early August this year.    We will go to the  doctor’s and the dentist’s.   The finance and homeschool research will continue.  Basketball will continue.  The seventh grader will be taking the Stanford-10 test again in mid-June.

We will probably go to the movies again, and also go to the community pool a few times.  The 2nd grader will continue to spend his time on the Kerbal Space Program video game, building rockets, in addition to comics, Legos and music.  The 7th grader continues with his video games, books, comics, music and YouTube. We will take our yearly vacation in September as usual.  Legoland is the latest plan.  I would like to do more, like tennis and theater classes, but I am delaying them until we are more organized/decluttered.  I have read the importance of being organized for better finances/earnings so I plan on comitting to that first.

How did you do with last months goals?  What are your goals for this summer?

Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day was mostly an ordinary day this year.  We recently returned from an out of town trip to celebrate a parents 50th anniversary.  Errands still needed to be run, basketball still needed to be practiced, allergies still had to be dealt with…and so on.  So we did what had to be done.

There were flowers and card, greetings and eating treats.   I was able to honor our mom’s and aunts, though some a little late.

I wanted to relax more and decorate, but I guess I wanted to do the other stuff more.  Hopefully I’ll get to relax and splurge another day to celebrate the occasion and enjoy my family more!  I’m positive I will.

How was your Mother’s Day?  Hope everyone had a good one.

Gratitude and Contentment

In April …

I want to eat out more,  instead I will cook something I enjoy, or snack on something I enjoy.  I will eat only foods I reasonably like,when hungry, and when I have time so I can appreciate my food.   I will think about paying off our house and our yearly vacation.

I want to travel more, instead I will read about the places I want to visit.  I will look for inexpensive activities I can enjoy during our yearly vacation that I can look forward to.

I will enjoy and appreciate my family’s presence, their humor, and their singing.

I will be grateful for my kids basketball practices and games.  I will share in their victories, improvements  and their defeats.

I will enjoy and appreciate my children’s growth and their end of the year ceremony, at the end of the month. I will enjoy and appreciate all the moms and kids in our co-op, the program itself, and the opportunity to homeschool (which I also try to do throughout the year).

I will be grateful and appreciative of my faith as I celebrate Easter.

How are you planning on practicing gratitude and contentment in April?

 

 

 

Persistence

We’ve been participating in recreational basketball for three seasons now.  It hasn’t come easy to the kids, but they don’t want to stop. They are ok with just participating.  I am not.

Maybe for some things I would be fine with just participating.  Maybe if the other kids weren’t progressing so well, it would be ok.  But the other kids have gotten better and I feel there is no reason that my kids can’t also.

I know it sounds bad.  I know I shouldn’t use the other kids as a benchmark.   What matters is if my kids are doing their best.  And they are not. (If they were, I might try to persuade them to do something they would be better at.  That sounds terrible, but that’s also another topic to deal with separately.)

So we have been going to the gym to practice more.  We also signed up for an 8 lesson basketball class at the gym.  And they are finally showing some improvement.

No, I didn’t enjoy having to go to the gym even more frequently.  And it was pretty discouraging this past year.  I worried that they wouldn’t get better despite even more practice.  But we kept going and finally there were signs of hope.

What made me not give up? Well, it took the youngest a long time to get the hang of swimming.  He’s still not great, but he’s much better then before.  And then there’s reading which the youngest really struggled with for a long time,  but he is much better at it now.  And then of course there’s my personality, I don’t mind working at most things even if it takes a while.  When it got so discouraging, I set goals for them, along with a plan.

But what if they didn’t get better, or if they don’t continue to do better?  Well, they were definitely better than when they first started.  Either way, we learned valuable lessons on values, persistence, goals and time management.

How much time do you give to learn a new skill?  How many times do you keep going despite lack of progress?  What helps you to persist despite lack of progress?

 

Monthly review and Goals

Time to check in. I can barely remember what happened in February.  We were busy with basketball games and our weekly Classical Conversations homeschool classes.  I was able to stay focused on my goal of kindness by thinking of the kind people I admire.

I was able to enjoy something, however simple, every day.  Continuing a simple schedule and decreased spending has continued to help with that, along with making the time to notice nature more.

I was able to delay my needs (till the end of the day, etc.) to give my children the attention they deserved, most of the time. Continuing to sleep well, eat better,  along with paying attention to nature, slowing down, and setting aside some time to destress has helped.  I spent some time researching homeschooling and college.

I was able to mostly keep God in the center of my days.  Having some time to reflect helped. Long days also had me seeking his help.  I borrowed a Bible Study ebook and read it only for a few days.

I dug out some of the paperwork for our taxes.  I continued to spend time researching saving/making money along with  researching investing.  I was able to save more than usual, by continuing to make do even more with the clothes I already had, and decreasing eating out and convenience foods with fairly simple and healthier homemade meals. Continuing to read how others saved, helped.

Habits helped.  When I would be tempted, the habits of eating healthy, going to sleep early, doing chores at certain times, going to the gym with the kids, because “it’s good for us”, would push me forward most of the time.

Should I have decluttered more?  Finished our taxes already?  Have our summer school plans set already?  That would have been nice.  But then I think our quality of life would have suffered.

What about our March plans?  It looks like I am ready for and badly need a planner, so that’s in my list.   March should be easier as there is a short break in basketball and the seventh grader no longer has weekly presentations.  I plan on working with the second grader more with basketball (he is not progressing as well as I want him to).

I would like to prepare for the start of basketball practices again and the end of school year busyness that happens in April.  I need to research school plans for our summer and the following year.  Eighth grade is a critical year.

I would like to plan for the rest of the year.  I would like to find a Bible Study book that I am drawn to.

How was your February?  What are your plans for March?

 

 

Simple Family Life

In our Classical Conversations’s homeschool group they do family presentations, where they share about their family.

When they do these presentations, I usually think, wow, why aren’t we doing those things.  There are so many activities we could be doing.

Since we’ve always signed up late, we haven’t done any family presentations.  But it has been on my mind.  I have also read of creating a family shield, which also sounds good. In addition to creating unity, taking the time to reflect on your family’s characteristics can lead to appreciation, contentment and gratitude.  It can make it clearer what is missing and what kind of family we want to become.

While I haven’t taken the time to write one up, I have some ideas.

Our family consists of…both kids participating in recreational basketball, a husband that loves watching sports, a mom and a tween that are bookworms,  kids that love video games big time, and also love utube and Netflix,  Star Wars and Disney Parks/Universal Studio fans (mostly), a curious kid that loves Legos , a tween that enjoys technology and big words, kids that enjoy riddles,comics, and beating me badly in basketball.

We all enjoy eating out inexpensively or cooking on  the weekends, though our taste in food varies. We enjoy seeing our out of state families and friends once a year, and we have enjoyed science museums on our past trips.  Although my  husband enjoys rock concerts, we haven’t because of the kids.

Pretty boring and basic, I know.  But that’s who we are.  We could do more, do different things, but would it be better for us? Some of it would, some of it wouldn’t.  I would really like more time on good literature with the 2nd grader.  I would like the 7th grader to spend more time on being creative.  The 2nd grader might enjoy theater and piano lessons, but he doesn’t want to give up basketball and I don’t want him to be that busy.

I would like exposing them to different activities and interests but they are not interested, though some of the activities are beyond my husband’s and my knowledge (like hunting). Some of them we don’t do because we have allergies.  And some of them, like computer camps, do not seem worth the expense with our budget, so we will have to get creative with that.

Have you reflected on your family’s activities and characteristics?  Have you found doing it helpful in planning and increasing contentment and gratitude?

 

 

Motherhood

Motherhood is constant.  It doesn’t stop when you need a break.  And while we are not always in control we do have influence.  Do we react with denial/inattention during those times we badly need a break?  I know I do.

Sometimes it works, and inattention at the moment was the best, but most times it is not ideal.

Do I really need a break, or do I just need to stop my negative thoughts and just do what I know I should be doing?  Do I  do my best to take care of myself by getting enough sleep, eating healthy, cutting back on the unnecessary, and getting support, so I can react well?  I know, it’s easier said than done, but we can give it our best.

I am realizing just how big a responsibility motherhood is.  But I am realizing it comes with joys just as big, if we’re paying attention.

What has helped you the most in managing the constant demands of motherhood?

 

Simple Living and The Amish

They are human and I can’t put them on a pedestal as I had hoped, but I have a lot to learn from them.  Their practices vary but community, but their strong work ethic, importance of community and family, practices of equality, spirit of cooperation instead of competition, and their non-material ideals all appeal to me.

Family and community gatherings and support, efforts towards equality such as same clothes and buggies, minimal focus on material things, together they lead to simpler living.

Will they be able to continue their ways as the world continues to change?  Will we be able to use some of their ways, or are most of them impossible considering today’s circumstances?

I think it’s worth a try.  Board games, shooting baskets,reading, good simple food, nature and conversation for entertainment.  Simple clothes, home decor, toys, etc.  Spending time with others that share  common beliefs/ideals.  Are the things we give up worth it?  I think so.

What simple things do you like that the Amish do?